Ø10: Sweetgreen

Sweetgreen’s ad copy is a hit or miss.

One ad reads: “Cross lunch off your to-do list.”

Who puts a list together and writes lunch on it? Do you make a list to brush your teeth too? Another list to pay your taxes? Maybe that last one, sure. But you get the point.

Nobody’s putting lunch on their to-do list.

But then they go and do this: “Our Fries. Air-fried potatoes, potato starch, avocado oil, parsley + salt.”

This is a nine out of ten.

My reason (well, not mine — everyone’s): people want crunch, maybe with a little fluff inside. A golden, savoriness. Addictive. Ya know, stuff that’d make those dang fries a ten.

Outlining the facts is great. I do it all the time. However, our senses are more tuned to emotion than a list of ingredients.

And this becomes the gap.

Sweetgreen’s copy usually plays it safe, which, the more I read it, the more it feels like a cover-up, a disguise, or whatever you want to call it, for a lack of vividness. Really, what’s the reason to hold out? Hmm.

Anyway, their copy mostly informs, but never really illustrates. Texture is absent. So is taste. Is a scenic view too much to ask?

So, for today, we’re doing an ad write-up for Sweetgreen. Not because they need my help, but because a little of it wouldn’t hurt.

Ø10: Sweetgreen

Come on, let’s rewrite their farm-raised salmon copy.

Miso Glazed Salmon is prefaced with the sub-headline: “Want to try something new?” And followed, in the smallest font, by: “35g of protein.”

We can go the literal route, like their new fries ad:

Salmon & ‘Vado

We can go the educational route, coined by me:

Packed with 1200mg of Omega-3. Supports your brain health and your cravings.

They’re okay with playful, so why not another:

Loaded with Omega-3s. Omeg-osh yes, please.

Or:

It’s time for fat. The good kind.

However, ad copy like these aren’t really why I’m writing this essay.

It’s more so how Sweetgreen lacks vividness.

Another, they say: “Ingredients sourced from farmers we trust.”

What does that even mean?

You’re better off saying:

“Juicy, ripened red tomatoes grown in sunny Salinas, California.”

Anyway, again, the theme is: Be a little more vivid.

When all you do is simple, clear copy, it reads like you’re Apple.

And Sweetgreen isn’t Apple.

The more it tries, the more it becomes——

Yawwwn.

Or so I think,

George